It has been a tortuous several days since my last MRI. I had two last week. Both with and without contrast, one of the pelvis and one of the abdomen. Part of this torture has been created by my own fear of recurrence but also exacerbatd by the Physician's office.

I received a phone call on Friday from the Physician's office stating that they had received the results of the MRI and the doctor wanted to make sure that I had an appointment to discuss the results. Now, on the surface, this statement may mean just that, an inquiry regarding whether I have an appointment. But those of you who have been where I am now, know that my mind has been in overdrive. This proves that a little bit of knowledge can be a very bad thing and ignorance is indeed bliss.

It has prompted deep thought to resolve this issue. I will have a discussion with my Physician regarding this issue so that there is no repeat of this torture. From now on, I will not wait for results! I know, being a member of the healthcare system myself that phone results are frowned upon. That said, I will not allow myself to be mentally tortured like this. I can handle anything, including bad news, but what I can't handle is the unknown.

Cancer patients in general live a life from test to test, from result to result. Those of us who work in the healthcare field MUST be cognizant of the patient's stress level and act accordingly. My results, from my mouth to God's ears, may be totally fine, but the stress these past several days has elicited is unacceptable.

I have 2 more days before I see my Physician....they will be long days in which I will talk to myself constantly to remain positive, but I will never allow this to happen again.